It was the fourth grade. A day in early October. I remember we were making a list for my birthday party the day before and my sister laughed at me because I could not spell my friend’s name. I came home and as usual gave my mother my homework assignment.
These are the memories that stay with a kid forever.
She looked at it and then she looked at me. She had what I can now describe as a thoroughly perplexed look on her face. “Mommy,” I said, “ what’s the matter?” I felt fear in my throat and then in my stomach. She smiled gently and said, “What does it say honey?”
“What do you mean Mommy?”
She looked down at the paper on the kitchen table and attempted to stretch it with her left hand smoothing the wrinkles at the top and the right hand doing the same at the bottom. She blinked and smiled again then rose from the table looked out the window at the kids playing in the cement backyard and then turned to me, “Well, I really can't read it. You see, well, can you tell me what it says? Something about, well, does this say chapter?”
"Of course Mommy, it says chapter.”
“And does this say revolutionary?”
“Yes Mommy.”
Then, smiling brightly while caressing my shoulder she said, “Ok, now we have a start then!”
I spent my childhood daydreaming about a magical machine that would spell for me because I wanted to write stories and of course you can’t write stories if you can’t spell.
The world now has such a magical toy!
Fast forward to the present. I live with a dictionary by my computer and am rather fastidious when spelling even though I have a colorful ABC genie that lives in the upper right corner of my document . I am so obsessed that I look up words just for fun!
As in most cases, when you are engaged in an intimate relationship, you let your hair down. With me, implicit in that is not bothering to review my spelling. For the last four years you-know -who and I have shared thousands of emails, poetry, stories and because of my trust in said person and my assurance that said person understood my very being I believed that all was sacrosanct, and I let my defenses down.
On Dec 6th, in her last blog, http://theunfoldingenigma.blogspot.com/ she alluded to my zero spelling skills. I guess she still has a problem when I text her something like. “cal b4 wen u r hom. it mite b 2 late 4 me 2 gab.”
I am quite well versed in the machinations of the mind having practiced this art for many a year, yet, said womans' remark cut me to the very core. Suddenly, I find myself encumbered with fourth grade spelling woes:constantly making mistakes. My fingers are going for the wrong keys. Typing has never been my forte' either but this is ridiculous!
What a miserable vicious cycle !
Yet, the cats are somewhat culpable as they are always tramping across the keyboard!
I know what is going on. I say to myself, “now look Sugar you know how to spell and even if you do not you have a program that will do it for you.” Things got better until I found another way to sabotage myself.
Oh, the power of suggestion is a merciless trap.
The other day while reading one of my pieces I noticed that I had written that I was greatful for something. Greatful? I went back a couple of times because the damn thing just did not look right, yea right? Then I reviewed things I had written in the last few days and found faux pas such as, here for hear, there for their, now for know. Me the college professor!
I went wild and took out everything I had written or edited since the beginning of December. You guessed it, all the mistakes started after Dec 7 when Margo Moon alluded to said woman and the trouble she would be in for mocking my spelling skills.
I have recovered, no self-respecting shrink would allow herself to be victimized by her own impressionable brain and the arrogance of a partner who says women for woman because that is how they say it in South Africa!
I have gone back to my nonchalant whhay of speling . It is ok because she understands me no matter how I right. When I publish somethin I take a minute and hit my magic buttom which has yet to flail me.
There are too many important ings to tink about such as the creative thrust of a story or, riting it in the correct poison. Should you leave such and such an idea in ore take it ouch?
Life is so serious. Too much energee goz into twivia! I thought I wood leaf you with a few chuckles four the haliday sesson.
"My spelling is Wobbly. It's good spelling but it Wobbles, and the letters get in the wrong places." A.A. Milne
"It's a damn poor mind that can think of only one way to spell a word!" -- Andrew Jackson
I have a spelling checker
It came with my PC
It plainly marks for my revue
Mistakes I cannot sea
I've run this piece threw it
I'm sure your please to no,
It's letter perfect in it's weigh
My checker tolled me sew
anonymous
2 comments:
Your magic button is yet to flail you? Why, that's so sad!
Now, you need to jump behind the scenes and expand on how my remark triggered all this. I'm slow. I don't unnerstand. :)
Here's hoping your magic button flails you real soon!
It's deep psychological poo poo Margo Moon.
It is MY deep psychological poo poo!
Leave it 2 u 2 b the antangeniszt.
Geez, you are such a trouble maker!
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