My mother was quite concerned about good manners.
As a result, my sister and I grew up occasionally perusing the Emily Post Book of Etiquette.
No elbows on the table.
Patting you mouth with your napkin as opposed to wiping it. It helps to keep your lipstick in place.
No chipped nail polish.
A nod and a slight smile if not familiar with the artist or composer who is the current topic of conversation.
Standing tall, no slouched shoulders.
Never refuse a host’s offer.
Never waste food but leave just a drop on your dish.
Therefore, when in unknown territory I would ask myself, “What would my mother do?"
She remained sharp as a tack but in her last year of 87, her habits changed a bit, she became, let us say,
a little eccentric.
Each week I would take her shopping and out to lunch.
My sister and I simultaneously shared that mom was acting strangely.
While in the restaurant, with sparkling eyes, she would cheerfully take extra napkins and put them in her bag. My sister revealed that mom was taking sugar packets and she did not even drink coffee!
When she started shoveling napkins, sugar and mayo packs into her pocketbook I would simply sit and smile and bring up a subject of interest to sway her attention from the new found hobby in which she took such glee. It became a game. The name of the game was:
how to preserve mom’s dignity whilst preserving the inventory of the diner in which we were currently eating.I knew that mom would turn a blind eye if a friend exhibited such behavior.
Simply good manners!
This Sunday my partner and I went out for breakfast. I have one cup of coffee each day with a little rice dream. However, it was such a celebratory morning that I ordered coffee with Half-and-Half.
When the waiter brought the coffee there was only one tiny creamer cup, you know, the kind that hardly holds a teaspoon? I asked for another.
When I returned from the ladies’ room, he had left three more on the table. Gee, what a waste, I thought, knowing that our state forbids anything to be returned to the kitchen if it had been served at the table.
The coffee was so good that I ordered another. However, I had neglected to tell him that I had enough Half-and-Half. It was a busy morning and the server was on the fly so now I was stuck with eight creamers!
We had a great meal and were about to leave. Yet, I felt guilty about wasting the creamers.
We had been talking about mom and her senior antics. I asked my partner, “What do you think mom would do?”
We caught each other's eye and simultaneously laughed.
I took the creamers, dumped them in my pocketbook, and am enjoying them in my coffee each morning along with a good laugh and memories of mom.
